Almost five years in, I am slowly starting to realise that some stuff just doesn’t matter and so I have decided to stop getting bogged down in details that to be quite frank, I don’t give that much of a sh*t about and start focusing on stuff that matters and staying sane as a work from home, stay at home mum.  So here are some things I have stopped getting mad about, saying whatever and just going with the flow.

Bedtime – so my son is almost 3 and he loves bed, it’s reasonably easy, night night, see you later. Sleep! My almost 5 year old has been more difficult over the years, and I mean that in the least negative way, just that she has needed us there until she doses off and comes to our bed, all of which I am ok with but more recently instead of being all ‘get to sleep now’ I let her read a story herself after we have read ours, meaning she is happy on her own  and knows when she finishes it is lights off and because I am not forcing sleep and acting desperate to get downstairs she does so with no problem at all, and says night, night.  No longer do I have to lie beside her to sleep and she has also been coming to our bed less and less.  Maybe I should have chilled out a year ago.

Breakfast – before working from home, mornings were a rush and I often felt I was forcing breakfast ‘go and eat your breakfast right now’ etc etc however I have realised several things, one being that sometimes they just aren’t that hungry, sometimes they aren’t ready to eat when I want them to eat and thirdly, they needed more choices, so now, instead of me being a crazy loon screaming that everyone must eat their breakfast, I lay out the cereal, each with their own milk bottle and spoon so they can go and pour it when ready, I leave out pre cut fruit and a plate of toast. The result being that I am no longer insane (ok I am but not about breakfast), they actually eat more and better and nobody gets mad.

Clothes – unless we are going to an event, I let them choose their own clothes and if it is a bit insane then I give choices, even if it means going out with Batgirl and Spiderman. If my oldest is having a morning where she just doesn’t want to do her own pants/socks etc, instead of shouting ‘PUT YOUR PANTS ON NOW’ I just help her, it’s faster, nobody is raging and the pants are on and to be honest, if you can’t go out dressed as you want when you are a kid, when can you plus I desperately want them to embrace their individuality and how can I preach that when I am forcing them to wear what i want most of the time?

McDonalds – ok so for a long time (4 ish years) I was very anti McDonalds and then one day we were on our way home, kids hadn’t had dinner, they were exhausted and we didn’t’ have time to get in, cook and then get bed done without total meltdown so ridden with guilt, we stopped at McDonalds and got them a Happy Meal, they loved it, of course and everyone was happy. We don’t do it often, once every few months but it’s fun, they get a toy and I don’t need to cook. They eat so well the rest of the time, a McDonalds now and then is not going to make them unhealthy, me a bad mother or create junk food mad kids.

TV time and Ipads – you know what, in Winter, we watch a lot of TV, in Summer, not so much because everyone is happier to get outside. Some days I am just too tired and have too much to do to fight the kids on screen time anymore, some days they watch it alot, other days we do activity after activity so it’s all about balance and I have found since I stopped fighting it, I realised they don’t even want to sit there the whole time anyway, they go in and out between playing/drawing and then sometimes we all just hop on the couch together under a blanket and have a film marathon with popcorn and juice.

I def still have some neurosis about these things but it is getting better and better and the house is becoming happier and easier.

What things have you stopped caring about for an easier life?

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8 thoughts on “5 things I’ve stopped fighting my kids on

  1. We are singing from the same hymn sheet Mama! I am utterly neurotic about ALL of these things and many more! One thing that my daughter desperately wants is earrings. For a variety of reasons, we have said ‘not until secondary school’. This has been raging on and on and I keep questioning whether we should just suck it up now. We worry whether its the beginning of a slippery slope though. Giving in because she’s begged so much.

    The latest thing is around her birthday present. She has decided she wants a hamster or other rodent. We have had 2 Guinea Pigs in the past and that was ultimately not a success. Plus, we have a pair of 1 year old cats so we have made the point that having predator and prey living together is never a good idea. She is very upset about this decision, but I suspect, not as upset as she would be to find little bits of rodent scattered around the house because the cats had a tasty little snack.

    Maybe we do need to lighten up a bit. I’ll let you know if I ever get to the point that my 8 y/o has multiple piercings and 25 rats in cages 😀

    1. I was chatting about ear piercing with someone recently, now mine is almost 5 and not even mentioned it as of yet but I thought, what would I do? I remember begging and begging and eventually at 14 being allowed. In Italy, all my cousins get their babies ears pierced as babies..before 1 often and sometimes I think, is it really that big a deal? Then I think, but they are too wee for these things – it is a circle of opinion in my head constantly and you know, I am relaxing about some stuff but I am prob replacing it with neurosis around 100 other things.

  2. 😂 I think we all get these along the line! The mum I thought I’d be and the mum I am are different. But, I think by being (slightly) less neurotic about TV. And breakfast, we are both happier! 😘

    Kat x

  3. I completely ‘get this’ i have found letting go of the things that really in hind sight don’t matter at all, makes for a happier home & less pulling out hair rages haha! Xx

  4. I’m the same! I used to stress out so much about so many things in the past but it was really eating me away. Food and bedtime were high up on the list. With food – we now do the same about offering more choice which I think is a more gentle and respectful parenting approach, after all they are just like us, may not want to eat weetabix all the time or are hungry when we think they’re hungry. With sleep – my hubby used to think I was spoiling our now 5 year old son by staying too long with him after reading and singing but now that he’s 5 years old, he knows I will leave him at some point and he doesn’t moan or cry any more. It took a while for bedtime to become less stressful but in all honesty most of the time I really enjoyed this special time together, especially as a working Mum. xx

    1. I don’t think spoiling, especially now I have 2, I see how different they both are at bedtime but I didn’t really do anything different and yes, it really is a special time that I try not to rush anymore and just enjoy x

  5. I’m completely with you on the grabbing a meal on the way home every once and a while. After homework, baseball and volunteering sometimes cooking just isn’t an option.

  6. I’ve been a Mom for seven years and I have relaxed SO much since the beginning, probably for everyone’s benefit. I was nodding my head at every single thing on your list. Even the horrid McDonald’s! 😉

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