Almost five years in, I am slowly starting to realise that some stuff just doesn’t matter and so I have decided to stop getting bogged down in details that to be quite frank, I don’t give that much of a sh*t about and start focusing on stuff that matters and staying sane as a work from home, stay at home mum. So here are some things I have stopped getting mad about, saying whatever and just going with the flow.
Bedtime – so my son is almost 3 and he loves bed, it’s reasonably easy, night night, see you later. Sleep! My almost 5 year old has been more difficult over the years, and I mean that in the least negative way, just that she has needed us there until she doses off and comes to our bed, all of which I am ok with but more recently instead of being all ‘get to sleep now’ I let her read a story herself after we have read ours, meaning she is happy on her own and knows when she finishes it is lights off and because I am not forcing sleep and acting desperate to get downstairs she does so with no problem at all, and says night, night. No longer do I have to lie beside her to sleep and she has also been coming to our bed less and less. Maybe I should have chilled out a year ago.
Breakfast – before working from home, mornings were a rush and I often felt I was forcing breakfast ‘go and eat your breakfast right now’ etc etc however I have realised several things, one being that sometimes they just aren’t that hungry, sometimes they aren’t ready to eat when I want them to eat and thirdly, they needed more choices, so now, instead of me being a crazy loon screaming that everyone must eat their breakfast, I lay out the cereal, each with their own milk bottle and spoon so they can go and pour it when ready, I leave out pre cut fruit and a plate of toast. The result being that I am no longer insane (ok I am but not about breakfast), they actually eat more and better and nobody gets mad.
Clothes – unless we are going to an event, I let them choose their own clothes and if it is a bit insane then I give choices, even if it means going out with Batgirl and Spiderman. If my oldest is having a morning where she just doesn’t want to do her own pants/socks etc, instead of shouting ‘PUT YOUR PANTS ON NOW’ I just help her, it’s faster, nobody is raging and the pants are on and to be honest, if you can’t go out dressed as you want when you are a kid, when can you plus I desperately want them to embrace their individuality and how can I preach that when I am forcing them to wear what i want most of the time?
McDonalds – ok so for a long time (4 ish years) I was very anti McDonalds and then one day we were on our way home, kids hadn’t had dinner, they were exhausted and we didn’t’ have time to get in, cook and then get bed done without total meltdown so ridden with guilt, we stopped at McDonalds and got them a Happy Meal, they loved it, of course and everyone was happy. We don’t do it often, once every few months but it’s fun, they get a toy and I don’t need to cook. They eat so well the rest of the time, a McDonalds now and then is not going to make them unhealthy, me a bad mother or create junk food mad kids.
TV time and Ipads – you know what, in Winter, we watch a lot of TV, in Summer, not so much because everyone is happier to get outside. Some days I am just too tired and have too much to do to fight the kids on screen time anymore, some days they watch it alot, other days we do activity after activity so it’s all about balance and I have found since I stopped fighting it, I realised they don’t even want to sit there the whole time anyway, they go in and out between playing/drawing and then sometimes we all just hop on the couch together under a blanket and have a film marathon with popcorn and juice.
I def still have some neurosis about these things but it is getting better and better and the house is becoming happier and easier.
What things have you stopped caring about for an easier life?